Dearest Trish. My heart feels your pain and your loneliness but I want you to know that firstly, you are not alone, so don't hold on to the mistakes you have made or blaming yourself for the failed relationships. Rather, forgive yourself so that you can forgive those who have hurt you. Accept the fact that you've made mistakes, but don't dwell on the mistakes you've made, rather, place yourself in the light of God's love, God who is always with you, loving you, and calling you to CALL ON HIM. I've learned that if we can simply remember that God loves us unconditionally and to infinity, and He never abandons us, rather, it is us who abandon Him. He wants us to turn to Him, in good times and bad. If we place Him at the center of our very existence, in all that we do, everywhere, in everyone, it is easier for us to remain in His light of love. World Blessings is a rich resource for guidance in meditation, healing, forgiving, loving, letting go of the old and bringing in the new, which promises love, peace and joy for all. I feel, through desire and trust in God, and through the guidance we can receive through World Blessings community, it won't be too long before you can heal, clear, and feel the ever-present love of God. There is much support in this community and so many who are willing to provide.