Spiritual Depression: Disconnected From God

by Heaven's Quill
(Bradenton, Florida)

As a Christian, I have been trying to analyze why I have fallen into a "spiritual depression". What is spiritual depression? It's a disconnection from God's presence and love. What started me on this path had everything to do how I felt and all the disappointments I've experienced especially in my marriage. What caused me to lose focus on God? Was it my husband? Was it my sadness? Was it my need to control my circumstances? I would say all of the above, but what eventually led me to my disconnection with God was my lack of faith in His promises.. I slowly stopped reading the bible as well as praying. I let go of God and focused on my circumstances, emotions, and my quest to regain it all. I can't seem to find that place again. I pray and feel so far away. I know that the enemy loves for us to be in this place of darkness because there is where he continues to plant his seeds of destruction and our tears are watering them to fruition. I am sure there are many christians who feel this way, but are afraid to admit it because of critical and judging christians. So they wear the mask. I had that mask but I can no longer hide behind it. It's cutting off my air and I cannot breathe. So what will I do now? I know what to do, but just can't seem to do it. The mind wanders when I determine to read and pray and I know who is behind it. How can I fight? Who will fight with me? This is where I stand now..the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Lord, help me and help those who find themselves in this dark place. The pain is unbearable and the loneliness it has produced within our soul has emptied our will to bear our cross and follow you. Help us Lord! We hunger and thirst for a touch of Your Healing Hand...Touch us once again and restore us unto you in mind, body and soul. We are dying spiritually and cannot bare to live a life absent of your presence and love. As Your children we cry, Abba Father, help us...