Latangela. I can imagine what you are going through and the pain and hurt you must be experiencing right now, with regards to Benjamin's unloving behaviour. From what you have written, it sounds to me as though Benjamin finds it extremely difficult to be present with his emotions and to express himself in an emotional honest manner. Most of us find this extremely difficult too and I would go as far as to say, men more so than women. Therefore, it is easier for him to run away and into the arms of another rather than to face the truth about himself. It is very common after the "honeymoon" period in a relationship, to see someones "true colours". He probably hadn't changed, you just hadn't seen the darker side of his personality in the first few months, that's all. You say you love him and care for him and want to learn to trust him. The problem with this is that it doesn't sound as though he can be trusted emotionally.Unless Benjamin is prepared to look at his reasons for "running away", then this pattern will only repeat itself further down the line. When these things happen, all you can do is process your own feelings and somehow express those feelings which are coming up for you. You need to allow whatever feelings are there to be there without pushing them away so that your own healing can take place. What Benjamin has done has probably triggered or brought to the surface memories of past episodes of rejection or abandonment and the buried feelings associated with such episodes. That is why it feels so painful. So as difficult as it feels right now, feel it all and allow the healing process to occur in you. We cannot impose our will on others and their choices. This can be vrry frustrating at times, but its a fact. Whatever Benjamin needs to experience for whatever reason, then he needs to do that. To truly love someone means to allow them the freedom and space to make her own choices as foolish as those choices may appear to us. Loving yourself is allowing yourself the freedom and space to make choices that empower you and that lead you to creating a life, where you will only allow those that truly love, value and respect you into your personal "space". This is probably not what you want to hear and I understand that. Remember you are whole and complete in yourself, emotionally and spiritually. We do not NEED anyone to make us feel good about ourselves and our lives..... Latangela, I send you lots of love, light and comfort. Bless you. Kat xxx