Break up Or Make up?

by Candice
(Bakersfield, Ca)

Hi, I have been having serious problems in my life and with a relationship that I thought would last forever. For the last year or the 2 years we were together I abused the circumstances. He was willing to do anything for me. he pulled chairs out for me, got me what I wanted and gave me the love I asked for. Along the way I abused it. I never let him live the life he wanted. He would go outside and I would ask him constantly where he was going and get mad if he was paying attention to me. 6 weeks ago it was a breaking point for us. We split up in a heartbreaking situation but I knew i still loved him and he loved me. I figured out what I needed to do to fix my self. If i got another chance I would let him be human not an animal I would show him I actually loved him. I asked for forgiveness and eventually he gave it to me and 3 weeks later we got back together. The first week was fine and happy like we used to be but eventually things were going down hill again. He began ignoring me, having an additude with me, and not happy. I began a conversation with him and he told me he didnt think he was ready and didnt know what to do. I talked to God and asked him what I needed to do, what was wrong? God told me if i stayed and tried to work things out it would eventually leed to us hating each other and there would be no love any more. God put this break upon us to try to find the love for eachother because if we stayed together we would never be together and in love. Upon me leaving He and I told eachother we care about eachother and need this time and it was mutural. Ive been praying every day about the situation. I keep thinking maybe one day he wont have anylove for me or come back to me. And yet I have strong faith to believe he will and our love will be very God based. Ive been watching the movie Fire proof and keep picturing his and my relationship that way. I have so much faith left in us but dont know how im supposed to go about this. I know patience is the best way to demonstrate true love. Im being patient and feel like praying and wanting it so bad it will come to be again. God will strengthen our relationship and he will come back one day. I dont know if this will happen? I want to hold and and pray for it cause I truely love this man but how long will it take? When will he come back? Or will he ever? I know I havnt been very good to him for the most part of our relationship but i was for 2 years and wish he could see I will never do that to him again. Im still not sure he forgives me for abusing him like that but I am and am truely sorry. I just need some Godly advice. I know God gives me alot of it and gives me signs all over to hold on and keep praying...but is it my head telling me this or God? I have such strong hope in us and want a strong relationship. BUT WHAT DO I DO?